It Wasn't Supposed To Be This Way
by Meg1911
Summary: The feelings about April's impending nuptials come to the surface...Takes place during episode 10x5 One-shot


**I have been hit with the "writing bug" again. I was having trouble sleeping one night and I just started writing... :)**

**This takes place during episode 10x5. I wanted to write about what I think Jackson and April are feeling at this moment. We really haven't gotten much insight yet showing Jackson's and April's feelings regarding the impending nuptials, so I thought I would put my spin on it...**

**This isn't one of my happier fics, but I feel this is true to where we are now. I am a huge Japril fan and have huge hopes they will get together eventually. Shonda just puts all of her beloved couples through the ringer first; such torture Shonda...;)**

**I hope you enjoy this one-shot! I am considering writing a sequel, but wanted to get feedback on this first...It will give me the motivation I need! :)**

* * *

One should feel happy, elated, giddy even at the idea of one's girlfriend meeting their mom for the first time...

He should be thrilled they are getting along so well. After the fiasco today, he should be relieved and yet, he felt anything but...

As much as he hated to admit it, he couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if April was sitting there instead. Her auburn hair framing her face,  
the way she laughed and twirled her hair when she was nervous, how she could light up a room with her smile; God he missed that smile...

Would she have been nervous, excited, about meeting his mother outside of the walls of the hospital? Knowing April, she would have been a basket of bundled nerves. Ever since their intern days, she had idolized her work and the prowess it entailed. Being a trauma surgeon, she could relate well.

His mother would have loved her.

Closing his eyes, he sighed. Thinking of what could have been wouldn't do him any good. She was engaged to be married to a guy who was perfect for her and worshiped the ground she walked on. The magnitude of his love for her could be witnessed from a mile away...

He wish he could have given her a reason, told her he loved her and that it had always been her, no one else...

She said she loved him, wanted him, and he pushed her away. She asked him for a reason why she shouldn't get married and he sat there uttering nothing but an "I'm sorry" and "Matthew is the better man..."

He felt like such a coward.

* * *

"Baby, you didn't tell me Stephanie has relatives that are attending's at Mass Gen." Catherine said, her curiosity peaked.

"Guess it just slipped my mind." Jackson grumbled, knowing all too well where this was headed.

"Now honey, you know you can tell me these things. I won't try to use it as a ploy to lure you there. Although, you know your grandfather would be thrilled. I'll have to mention Mr. and Mrs. Edwards to him..."

"Mom, that won't be necessary." Jackson replied, his tone voicing his displeasure.

"Baby are you alright? You seem stressed." Catherine voiced, her tone laced with concern.

"I'm sorry, the nerve graft I had today took longer that expected and I didn't get much sleep last night..."

In all honesty, the days events toppled with his mom's sudden visit was causing him stress. He loved his mother, but if there was one thing should could do well, it was meddle.

"You need to relieve some of that stress...It's not good to carry that around, especially in the workplace. You know the best way to relieve stress is..."

"Mom." Jackson grimaced

"Sorry. Stephanie dear, if you learn anything about me...just know I tend to lack a filter when it comes to topics such as sex. One can't look at the intimate parts of the male anatomy everyday for a living and be shy..."

"It's quite alright, Mrs. Avery. After the day we had today, I completely understand." Stephanie replied, a slight blush forming on her cheeks.

"Good. I'm glad we can put pass the events of today. I do apologize for the way I treated you both. I know how stressful your work as a resident and attending can be. I was there once many moons ago. I too had to find creative ways to relieve stress..."

He was used to his mother's lack of filter, but seeing the uncomfortable look on his girlfriends face, he knew it was time to intervene...This day didn't need to get any worse than it already had.

Hearing his pager beep beside him, gave him the excuse he desperately needed. He had never been more grateful for this normally dreaded page.

* * *

This was supposed to be the most special time in her life. For most women, scrapbooks had already been made filled with ideas of just how their special day would be; from the bridesmaids dresses to the centerpieces, they had it all figured out.

She had dreams and visions sure; her dress would be lace and have a sweetheart neckline, she would wear her grandmother's pearl necklace for her "something borrowed" and her hair would be half up with curls that framed her face...

Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes as she pictured herself walking down the "aisle" with her father in a field surrounded by butterflies. Her father's big strong arms would be laced with hers as she walked down the "aisle" to meet her future husband; the man of her dreams...

In her heart, the man that her father gave his blessing to, the man that she would say her vows to surrounded by her family and friends was not the man she said "yes" to after a flash mob proposal, it was the whose heart she broke when she found out she wasn't pregnant, it was Jackson's...

It was and in her heart would always be Jackson, but she was engaged to another man. She had told herself this was how it was supposed to be. Jackson had told her himself, he was with Stephanie now, he was happy...

She would have to let him go. She would marry Matthew and she would be happy. He loved her, and like Jackson said, he was the better man for her...

Jackson was happy and she would be happy...

She couldn't stop herself from thinking though...

"It was supposed to be this way..."


End file.
